Marriage and Motherhood Shouldn't Disqualify Women for Leadership Roles
“This isn’t a job for a new mom. You should be spending more time with your little one.” were the words spoken by one of my white male colleagues. In that moment, I realized that my Mechanical Engineering degree, my Manufacturing Engineering work experience, and my years of experience as a First Line Leader did not matter to him. What he saw was a wife and mother who wasn’t cut out to handle the challenges that this position would bring. I simply replied, “Well I’m here, and I’ll determine whether or not this is the job for me.” I went to my then manager who insisted that, “He probably didn’t mean it in a bad way.” To me, suggesting that being a wife and mother was a “disqualifier” for holding a leadership role on a high profile program was ALL BAD. This wasn’t the first time that I would be subjected to macro/microagressions in the work place, and it surely wasn’t the last. Over time, I’ve learned how to address the situation whenever it happens and move forward. I decided that I wasn’t going to tolerate unfairness and bias in the workplace. Thankfully, being a senior leader has provided me with the leverage to make sure others know that they don’t have to tolerate it either.
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I always knew that I wanted to be in a leadership role. Why? Well, I believe leadership is more about serving than holding a title for status or respect. I genuinely get joy in helping eliminate roadblocks for others and pushing them to achieve their goals. While pursuing my undergraduate degree, I was involved in the National Society of Black Engineers where there was a strong emphasis on “strengthening the pipeline.” For me, this means creating opportunities for those who may not typically be considered. I’ve seen people question job candidates because of demographics, gender, school choice, etc. One of the great things about my job is being in a position where I can address and correct bias when I’m aware of it. Not only do I practice this myself, but I also stress this to my direct reports. Our company is well known for Diversity and Inclusion and I take pride in knowing that I play an active part in ensuring we actually live up to those core values.
If I could leave those of you reading this with some advice, I would say don’t question the value that you add in the work place and never be afraid to call people out on their mess. I can’t imagine the regret that I would have felt had I not challenged the manager who didn’t give me a raise. Despite doing extremely well on my performance review, I didn’t receive my raise because I’d just gotten a promotion in a different group and the manager felt my new salary was sufficient. Long story short, after speaking with my human resources representative and my new manager, I received my raise! The wage disparity among women and African Americans is real, so there was no way I was going to let that slide. Also, please please please counter your offers. Throughout my nine years working in Corporate America, I have seen favorable results more times than not. Remember the Bible states, “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7). I can truly attest to these words. You’d be surprised at what you can attain if you just simply ask. It starts with, YOU!
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