Mama Needs a Do Over
As I sit here with tears in my eyes going through all of the events of the day, I look at the time to realize that it’s only 3:20 P.M. and our children have 4 hours and 10 minutes before bedtime. Since they’ve awakened, daddy and I have been entertaining them left and right, right and left and back again.
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So what happens when every hour, every second you’re pouring into others and the second you’re preparing dinner, the noodles you boiled for the kids’ Mac and cheese pour over into the kitchen sink, because the strainer you placed on the edge of the sink wasn’t as balanced between the sink and the counter as you thought it was? You break the heck down, that’s what. That’s right, I stomped out the kitchen and cried tears of sadness because I was tired.
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Here it is Easter and all I wanted to do was make sure our family had the time of their lives. Not realizing that I was pouring from an empty vessel. My husband saw me. He saw the stress, the perfection I tried to achieve for everyone and he grabbed me in his arms, hugged me closely and just told me to go take a break.
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Take some time? My response? Glad you asked. No, I have so much to do and so little time. Then it hit me, I’ve been waiting for him to say those words to me and the egotistical super mom, super wife mantra stepped in and I didn’t allow myself that moment. Thank God he didn’t hold me to my no. I turned and looked at him and said you know what, I think I should.
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So, here I am sitting Native American style in the middle of our bedroom floor typing my reality away. Through my right ear I’m listening to my husband and our children practice letters and shapes. It makes my heart smile. Through my left ear, I’m listening to the birds chirp. Replaying the very words from the sermon, The Middle, preached by Pastor Michael Todd this Resurrection Sunday regarding God and His willingness to provide for us.
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I realize that I’m worrying more than I’m enjoying my time here on earth. So rather I held the kids to baking their first homemade cake, or coloring their eggs, and even having their very own Easter egg hunt, the key is that He still provides and worrying cannot add another minute nor a second to the life God has blessed me with. My reality is that I am a wife and a mommy. My children and my husband need me to be healthy and sane in order to be there for them. My middle response is thanking God because I know that the very sounds He placed in the distance for me to hear, are the very things He wants me to be forever thankful for.
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Even when I feel like the very things I thank God for leaves me feeling empty. I am thankful and from this moment forward, I choose to take the breaks or breathers, but still keep going! If you find yourself in a funk because you’re constantly pouring into someone or something, take a break from everything, yes sis, everything; and reflect. Everyone can afford to take a quick 15-20 minute break, or even more. Those around you can’t be happy and full until you’re full. Peace. Love. Blessings.
