Bound by Man
Stuck in the house, not wanting to do any of the things I would like to do, but then again the reality is everything I want to do is closed. However, simple things I mentally want to do, I physically push myself out of doing so. Why, you ask? Great question.
Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash
I feel like a bad wife when I am not setting aside all my time for my husband. I feel like if I don’t give him attention or give him time, then his whole world will cave in. So, I push that agenda and encourage myself to believe that to be a great wife I need to sit up in the house and do the very things he’s doing to eliminate the possibility of him feeling neglected of my time. Well, news flash, my husband is a grown man, who can voice when he wants to hangout or spend some quality time together, and he does.
So, why am I pushing such a harsh, unfair agenda on myself when my husband doesn’t even require these things of me? Is it because, if I live too freely society looks at me like I can’t possibly be married? Or if I’m hanging out alone, they’re thinking what happened between her and her husband? Maybe they’re fighting? Or sis, maybe my husband and I, just like any other human being, needs self love. Time to ourselves to evaluate life. Time to renew our spirits so we can continue fighting this good fight we face from society’s MsConceptions, and our own preconceived expectations of each other that we have to slowly kill off to understand the person we are married to.
Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash
Bound by Man isn’t to discredit the love and the affection men provide their wives. Bound by Man is a catchy title to help women who suffer from negative self talk/beliefs, and have formed the habit of thinking for your man, what he can verbally and physically communicate for himself. I have suffered in silence, because I’ve felt like I can’t do anything without him. Another news flash. I was born alone, and will die alone. When I, and we learn that it’s okay to live our life and still be fun and energetic women, have girl time, you time and all the other times that does not conflict with your marital or relationship boundaries, that is when we are operating in complete health
Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash
My man loves me, and I know he loves me even more when I take the time to love myself and start doing things on my own. Let’s face it, there are certain things men just don’t want to do, and you cannot make him your BFF who you do everything with. Of course he’s your BFF, but when we push an expectation of making our spouses the connecting piece to everything we think, say or do, we demasculinize him of his character and who he truly is.
Photo by Prince Akachi on Unsplash
I love my husband, but I have pushed the subject of being “bound” far too long. This was a struggle point for me, but now I see it as an opportunity to grow. Meet new people, build new habits, learn new things and make new friends. You get out there, start loving yourself, enjoying yourself, and be full from God and from the time you spend relearning you. Don’t allow generational curses to keep you from living your fullest life. Peace. Love. Blessings.
