But What About Black Women?...
This subject is something that I hold near and dear to my heart, becoming a mother pushed me to an unprecedented level of strength. After having my daughter, my number one goal was to be Superwoman on the day to day. I felt that I could never show weakness or too much emotion at work because they're expecting me to be emotional. I'm a woman, I just had a baby, expectations were low for what I was able to accomplish in comparison to the workload that I once was able to handle, so I had to go harder. I didn't want my significant other to think I "fell off" because we have a child now so I went harder at home. Cooking cleaning on an OCD level, making sure the atmosphere was perfect for my family, working out and dieting because that was my job I'm a woman, this is what women do.
I still ran my PR business by myself. I was answering emails during labor, because once again, I didn't want to make excuses and seem weak and incapable. I went back to work only 7 weeks postpartum, I was so hungry to get back in the groove of things, I was finally getting a piece of "me" back. Three weeks after returning to work the company's Vice President called a meeting to tell us that they've sold the company.
Photo by Kory Williams on Unsplash
The little tiny part of me that I was just getting back was now gone. I went home and lost it, I went into a mild case of postpartum depression. My body was different. My relationship was different. I was different. My life didn't look the way it once did and it was very unfamiliar to me. I felt like I couldn't talk about it because I should be grateful. I have a happy beautiful healthy baby, an AMAZING significant other who caters to me and my daughter's needs the best way he knew how, but I was unhappy. However, I was still expected to look a certain way, perform all of my "womanly" duties with a smile on my face.
Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash
I decided to reach out and talk to my close friends and "mommy friends" for advice on if it was ok to feel the way I felt. They shared stories about their postpartum journeys, their battles with depression, molestation, infidelity, rape, work place discrimination, self hate, stigmas and more.
I sat back and said d***! There is an excuse made for everyone else in the world, BUT BLACK WOMEN! Black men (not all) can cheat on women, not raise children, not have jobs because "it's hard out there for them, and they didn't grow up with a father figure in their lives" White women are "ignorant, they don't know any better, they are not aware how they're treating you and the things they say, or they're dumb blondes", but there are no excuses made for the hardships that we experience on the day to day basis.
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Ladies, I hear you. I am you....if you take away nothing else from this submission, take this...you are amazing, you're resilient, you're the best mommy your kids could have ever asked for, you're a warrior, your prayers are one of God's favorites, your strength is powerful, you're supernatural, you're beautiful and most of all you are heard! It's ok to stop a project to focus on your mental. It's ok to cook your family's favorite, it's ok to take a mental health day and it's ok to order door dash, grab a glass of wine and shut the door to binge watch your favorite shows!You're on track and you're doing ok!
Photo by Eloise Ambursley on Unsplash
In conclusion, we don't get excuses because we don't need them, we dust ourselves off, get prayed up and body it all. We are women, we are black women, we are the prototype.
