Impostor Syndrome is Real
Definition: Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".
Now that I have defined me for you, allow me to re-introduce myself. My people call me Dayi. I struggle with my faith, parenting, teaching skills, and loving my brown skin.
I am a recent doctoral graduate. Urban Education was my focus and Equitable Learning experiences are my passion! Though balancing life as a practicing Christian, parent, woke activist, and educator are hard—I try my best.
I am tired. I’m always tired. Tired of looking for a job, tired of being two parents, tired of standing up for everything and everyone, and tired of failing at this Christian thing. I’m one tired a—…
God is good! Y’all know the rest..all the time! And all the time, God is good! Walking across that stage was one of the most amazing feelings in my life!!!! Girllllll I’m a DOCTA now!
Every time I read something about the “achievement gap” in schools I go AWF! Yes, I said AWF! There’s no such thing. There are systemic injustices and inequitable classroom practices in place that hinder our children, our melanin infused children, from tapping into resources and tools necessary for their overall success. Don’t get me started!
I struggled to find God when COVID-19 first hit. When I went to celebrate my success, a bartender told me “Your Ph.D. is just letters!” I can’t knock him. That’s how I feel sometimes. I’m not really a single parent. I have help. I have familial support like no other. I have help, but since my father passed, I don’t want anyone else’s lending hand. He was my helpmate. This fight seems endless. If this pandemic has exposed nothing else, it’s shown the world how neglected we are as a people. How neglected our children are in schools. Still, no sign of change or progress.
My name is Dayi. Some call me Dr. Jendayi Mbalia, but only those who don’t know me. I am a disciple. I fall down, but I get up. I am a full-time parent. It’s not easy, but I’m learning how to let others love and protect my son. I love my people. Slavery didn’t happen in a day, so it will take time to loose those chains.
Impostor syndrome is real, but I’m no impostor. I’m human. Sis, so are you.