Naturally Me
You see me rocking my afro and you would think I was always confident with my hair. I've been natural for 7 years, but I didn't have true confidence in my hair until a couple of years ago. It took me a while to get there. Before then, between society, media, and even peers, I was told natural hair wasn't elegant. Unfortunately, I believed into that notion and conformed to straightening my hair or styling it until it ultimately led to severe damage. So let me start from the beginning.
“ I was told natural hair wasn’t elegant”
It was 2017, the year my best friend and I got married. Her big day was a month away from my big day. As a bridesmaid, to my dismay, I had to straighten my hair, but this was for the bride, so I reminded myself it was what she wanted. Even when family thought my hair was perfectly fine , it was up to the bride to make the final decision. Anything for the bride, right? Did I mention that I'm tender-headed??
“Even when family thought my hair was perfectly fine, it was up to the bride to make the final decision”
So there I was at the hair salon with excessive heat applied to my type 4 kinks until it was bone straight. I literally felt my scalp throbbing in pain as the stylist straightened it, but my hair was laid! Next up was my wedding day. My cousin, who was also my stylist, had a vision of how I should look on my big day and the vision included a sew in. It wasn't until the day of my final dress fitting when the seamstress asked why I wasn't wearing my natural hair that I thought to myself, “Hmmm...that was a good question that I honestly couldn't answer. “
I was so focused on her vision that I didn't think about what I wanted, but I continued with the original plan. So there I was at a hair salon...again. My hair was cornrowed tightly, but when I said something, I was told it was supposed to be tight. I looked beautiful on my wedding day yet felt uncomfortable. Till this day, I regret not wearing my natural hair for my wedding as I see gorgeous naturalistas rock their hair with confidence on their big day. I enjoyed the convenience of the "protective" style until it was time to take it out. Big clumps of my hair came out but that was normal, right? I realized the sew-in wasn't much of a protective style as I noticed several bald spots. You would think I learned my lesson...WRONG!
“I enjoyed the convenience of the “protective” style until it was time to take it out”
Later that year, another friend of mine had gotten married, and I went back to the salon for a silk press. Silly of me to still believe in the misconception of society's standard of beauty, but y'all, my hair had so much body. So I flipped my hair as that thought went out of the window.
Reality eventually sat in when I washed my hair and my hair wasn't converting back to my bouncy coils. I tried every trick and remedy from YouTubers, to revive my hair but it was no use. Now I was back at the salon but it was to cut my natural hair that once went down to my back into a tapered haircut. I was devastated!! I literally and figuratively looked at the mirror and I didn't like what I saw.
“I was shy, but it came out in a big personality. My turning point was when I let my hair go naturally.” -Tracee Ellis Ross”
I was team “loving your natural hair” and “stop caring what people thought.” Yet, I didn't realize I didn't practice what I preached. I had to learn the hard way. Two years later I was able to grow my hair back. Now you can't tell me nothing about my kinks!! I rock my afro at work (I'm a paralegal at a law firm), special occasions, heck, anywhere!!!
Now I'm a blogger wanting to encourage young ladies who may have thought like myself a few years ago. I never want them to learn the hard way like I did. And when companies want to work with me for collaborations in the future, I will refuse to allow their views of beauty to make me change who I am. It has gotten better as laws are being passed to not discriminate against those with natural hair in the workplace. However, we still have a long way to go as there are many people who still don't view natural hair as being beautiful unless they're looser curls. Until then, they have no choice but to deal with my coils. Take it or leave it!!
