Taking Control Over Your Emotions

Pumpkin spice, fall boots, hot chocolate, leaves and the autumn breeze. This season can make one feel all the good vibes while for others, it’s the hardest season and one that makes them want to stay in or just hide. Hide from the world, from what society tells us we should have or be. Hide from the happy faces, those surrounded by loved ones, the family gatherings and the holiday feels. 

 Summer has ended and the ladies night out, or time at the beach is no longer an escape. It’s like right around this time you have to deal with those things you try to bury, right? I get it. I know it’s easier to just bury them and keep yourself busy but you will eventually have to face them. 

However, I know from experience it’s easier said than done and I also understand you’re the most vulnerable with your emotions during this time. I mean this year by far has been a whirlwind and we’ve all had to just adjust - but that doesn’t take our emotions away. I want you to know it’s ok to feel, to voice your emotions and understand where those emotions come from. The more you understand yourself and your emotions, the better you can handle them and take control of your mental health.

 Quick story: One day, I was driving home and I was listening to a podcast. I was in such a great mood but then my thoughts drifted to a past conversation and the way I felt that day, I felt in the same moment I re-lived the conversation. I noticed how quickly I became irritable and how fast my mood changed. I noticed that was me a few days out the week - a rollercoaster with my emotions. I turned off the radio and I drove home in silence. I had never realized my “triggers” and it was so intriguing to me, because I realized in that moment, if I know them, I can stop them. I can direct my emotions and dictate my mood. I can steer away from the things that attack me mentally, FIRST, by knowing what they are and taking control.

So, I made a decision in that moment that I would pray those things off of me. That I would no longer visit the past because I am no longer there. That I would gain control over my thoughts and emotions. That I would CHOOSE happiness. Once I got home, I went straight to my prayer closet. I went into prayer and I spread my arms out in a “T”. I then spoke EVERYTHING I wanted to be released from my thoughts and my emotions. I surrendered everything from the past, every bad memory, every emotion I no longer wanted to feel and I could literally feel weight lifted off my shoulders and my arms. I could literally feel those negative things being released.

I honestly don’t know a better way to put this besides: You have to deal with it in order to heal from it. You can’t sex it away, shop it away, or drink it away. You have to look that thing in the mirror and be stronger than whatever it is! You look that thing in the mirror and you speak against it! You put that thing at the top of your prayer list and pray over it!

I want to encourage you to find ways to stay connected with others during this hard time, but also be strong enough to be alone. One of the greatest things I’ve taught myself, in my darkest moments, was how to be alone. I didn’t depend on anyone or anything to make me happy - because I didn’t want to become dependent on temporary things. One thing I knew for sure, was it would be me and that was enough to make me happy. I was enough. Sis, you are enough – anything added is a bonus.  

Here are a few things you can do to love on you but also remain social and connected to others:

1.      Pick a day where you don’t add anything to your to-do list. You are allowed to rest! Leave some work for the next day, you deserve a break. 

2.      Go out with that friend who’s been trying to catch up. You may need that time out the house more than you know.

3.      Set boundaries. Start by saying no. 

4.      Set up a game/wine night with your girls - in person or via Zoom if you feel more comfortable due to COVID. Just stay connected with your friends and loved ones!

5.      Try something new – rather its makeup via YouTube University (lol), buying a Cricut machine and tapping into your creative side, starting the book, inviting a friend to a new place you want to try, finding a new show to binge watch, or cooking a new recipe.

6.      Commit to one hour each morning of you time - no interruptions. 

7.      Write down how you feel and why you feel that way. This will effectively guide you on how you deal with and respond to that emotion.

8.      Text a strong friend today, someone who always checks on you. They get weak and tired too. 

9.      Have the conversation, the one you’ve been avoiding. You may never get the closure you want but at least you put it out there and you can move on.

10.  There is power in the tongue! Speak life into you, write down morning affirmations, set them as your screen saver, and tell yourself 3 things you love about yourself, every day.

11.  You will never be fulfilled until you be you. Not what Instagram says you should be, society, your parents or your boyfriend. Do that thing that makes you happy, and keep doing it. 

12.  Forgiveness = Freedom. Forgiveness is for you, for your peace and well-being. It’s for *you*, not them. 

13.  You are allowed to love from a distance. Forgiveness does not mean kicking it. 

14.  Everything doesn’t have to be done right. You are not perfect and you are allowed to make mistakes.

15.  Take yourself out. Even if it’s grabbing coffee and reading a chapter, going to dinner and going to the mall. Enjoy your peace and alone time.

I pray this inspired, encouraged and motivated you. Sending you so much love, peace and strength! Take care of you - mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.